It's that Sat-grr-Day again! WHAT? Shit, son! Well, all right, let's do this!
Today's report begins with a few announcements. The eggs we done placed in the incubator are all hatchin'. Well, all but a few. Mostly because those others done hatched earlier this week.
Starters, we got 13 out of 28 quail eggs to hatch. 5 days old and they be all up'n'over in the place! You want da pics? I got you, baby, I got you. Don' worry yoself none!
Told ya, muthafukas, I got you!Ain't that sweet? Bitches be sleepin', bitches be drinkin'. Dis the life, shorties!
Next, we got a lil' sumtin, sumtin for the rubber ducky lovers out there. You want it? Yeah, you know you do.
Ain't those duckies suh-weet?We have 4 Mascovy ducks, 3 Pekins. Their interests are eating, begging like dogs for food, wagging their tails, and watersports, if you know what I'm sayin'. Whether them bitches is pure or their parents were DTF, we're not sure. You know, drop us word, yo!
Finally, we got us a Rhode Island Red Rooster for you to enjoy. He goes by the name of Rusty and he's crank ain't crusty! Ya'll put your hands together and give it up for the one, the only, Rustoleum!
Incidentally, Rusty's broodmate has a reoccurring column here at RSD where she pecks out some eyes titled "RIR Chickens Present: Rhode Island Rants!" Keep an eye out for her vicious pecker!
And, an honorable mention, we have the rest of the report:
Out of the 26 chicken eggs to be placed in the incubator 21 days ago, 8 have fully hatched, several more have pipped, and 1 was thrown out. There are 5 henlettes and 3 roosterlettes. 6 are grey Ameraucanas, 1 Black Jersey Giant, and 1 White Leghorn. None of that matters, though, as their parents are a mixture of all these plus Welsummer, and several other breeds. These mixtures are often called Barnyard Mixes for a reason.
In the gardening sector, we are sad to say that the ground still has yet to be tilled. Last season's peanuts are still awaiting harvest, but it doesn't appear to be happening anytime soon. The soil is highly fertile, and the chickens find bugs and worm in the garden everyday, it is just the matter of heat. Temperatures are still too high for proper planting. In the meantime, rain has become plentiful again.
Speaking of heat and chickens, the recent intense heatwave in the mid-to-high 90s Fehrenhite, has kept egg production down. We are currently at levels only seen last when there were less than 7 birds. There are still no duck eggs from the Pekins, despite all 3 being of age.
Insect activity in the yard is on the rise. Hopping and flying insects have been spotted in growing numbers around the yard and the farmers are demanding answers. The chickens and ducks have yet to respond. To incentivise the birds, the farmers have cut the corn rations by a third. Eggs have yet to be affected in size or number. Recent rains, however, are preventing an accurate accounting of the effectiveness of the cutbacks.
Mulch piles are once again asking for supplies, the recent spate of plantings have taken a hit to stock piles. Combined with rain washing out the dirt piles in the chicken pen region, mulch piles are at an all-time low. An uptick in fresh vegetables tomorrow are expected to have a positive impact.
That is all for this week's Farmin Almondac, I'm Cussin Iggy. Goodnight.
Cussin Iggy is a suburban white dude who spends his time smoking pot and watching reruns on BET.
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